Wow I havent updated my journal in like almost a year now, so I'm going to shout stuff to make this worth while

Hey there Steve. thats a nice anvil you got in your pants there

Use protection or you will get STDs, and you will die

In bruce Almighty, Morgan Freeman wasnt acting as god; God was acting as Morgan Freeman

One day your going to look down and see some ants. then youll realize they are really colorful and they seem to go on a strict network... then youll realize those are cars and your plummeting to your doom. sucks to be you.

my last words will be 'I can still make it!... oh fuck m-"

Shotgun weddings are the best kinds.. because it takes the worry of deciding whether you want to marry this woman or not.

Elmo is a child molester.

Grenades... teh solution to your wall problem